Book 1 - Animal Farm

Depressing to start with this, but I have read it.

Book Number: 1
Book Title: Animal Farm
Page Number: 94
Page Sub-total: 94

This is a story that mimics and mocks the Russian Revolution. A classic. Relitavely boring, I prefer a little more action. An Old pig has a dream that there will be a major rebellion of animals against humans. Not long after he dies, the dream comes true. Animals make 7 commandments, 7 rules by which they will live their new lives on this farm under this new concept called Animalism. Grumpy, selfish pig kicks out the 'good-guy' and slowly starts to change things, but if the other animals question things, he tells them it was like this all along. Basically throughout the novel, a chapter is set aside to show how the farm moves from having these 7 commandments that are totally against humans to adjusting the rules so that they end up being pretty much the same as humans. The book could include some of the more intelectual 'gets you thinking' stuff, but it is described as an allegory; a fable with animal characters, and it is exactly that; you could read it to your children as a bed-time story. I personally would find it more interesting if it was kept the same story line, but expanded a little.

Overall, as a novel I would give it a 6.5 out of 10. Good book in it's category, but after reading the blurb, I probably wouldn't pick it up again.

Sorry if this is your favourite book, but I expected it to be brilliant, like 'To Kill A Mockingbird', but it was very much so an anti-climax.

Next Year's direction...

Julie & Julia

Well, just putting it out there, I haven't seen the movie. I saw the shorts, talked to Molly, and I am inspired.

I have decided I need a purpose. With everything in life, it is so easy to get over whelmed and feel as if you have no direction. So, for when I feel that way, I will know that there is something I must persevere on with...Sorry, it may get a little boring for y'all out there.

I am going to make this partially a 'Book Blog'. I plan to read 20,000 pages of novels by the graduation next year. That is approximately the 21st November I think, and the pages are roughly 40 decent sized books. I know it doesn't seem like much, but if you calculate how many pages a day that is...WOW...It's about 50. So I guess I shall have a lot of reading ahead of me!

I will ensure that I include on here the number book I am up to and the pages I have thus accumulated. I will also include a brief summary of the book and my favourite quotes.

I hope I can achieve it!

Dearest Me,

How have you been? We haven't spoken in a while.
For a while some crazy psycho person has taken over your body.
I hope you don't mind...It's me.

I was wondering what happened to you.
Why you aren't there very much anymore.
I know I am always on the outside, but surely you could make some more effort to kick me out?
Do you even want to?
Do I even want you to?
No.

The old you has gone. The one who rarely had fun, and knew when to put her head down and work.
The one who knew what was important (or thought she knew)
The one who was dedicated to her school work, no matter the cost?
what ever happened to her?

I think i know the answer...
She grew up.

She realised that, in fact school didn't matter in the slightest, it was the people there that mattered
she realised that there were far more important things than who got what in the maths test
she realised that her friends were hurting, possibly because of her, but she had neglected to notice
she realised that she had come an obnoxious, greedy, school-driven person, like someone else she knew, one person she vowed she would never become.
She realised that she needed to change.

So she let me move in.
The one who listens to her friend's unspoken words
The one who will help anyone, no matter the disadvantage it is doing herself
The one who knows what is good for others, because she actually took the care of noticing

So why does the knew you want to Lead people?
What was the reason that she couldn't put on the form?
She wanted to show that though before she has been power-hungary and neglectful, she is different now
She wanted to show that she cares enough about everyone to want to make a difference
She wanted to show that not now, nor ever will she sit back and let things happen that she doesn't think are right
She wanted to show that she would make a great captain

Not sure I want this on the internet, but eh

I wrote this a while ago, when I was in a 'I'm going to write a book' mood.
I am content with the prologue, but am yet to perfect chapter one,
but watch this space, I may continue it one day...maybe.
Feedback welcomed!

PROLOGUE

‘I mustn’t do this,’ thought Raquella. But looking at Joab, she decided that she didn’t care much what she must or mustn’t do. As she glanced at him through the crack of the bathroom door that adjoined her room, she decided to go out. She had never loved a man so much, she had school-girl crushes before, but never before had she wanted to share her entity with a man. It occurred to her, standing there that these were her last moments a virgin, and she smiled at this. With shaking hands she removed her bathrobe and took one cautious step towards her beloved. When he saw her standing there in all her beauty, shyly staring at her feet, he let out a gasp of satisfaction and surprise; he hadn’t expected her to come out. As she lay on the bed beside him, he moved to hover above her, placed one hand carefully behind her head, and the other in the small of her back. He leaned in to kiss her, but paused, awaiting approval, consent. ‘This is why I love him,’ Raquella thought, and nodded ever so slightly. He pulled her close to him and kissed her tenderly on the lips. Her heart leaped out of her chest and began to thump so strong against her ribs she was surprised Joab didn’t hear. She sighed with contentment, clutched him to her and began to kiss him back.

NB: This is not based on a true story...well not mine anyway, someone else in this vast world of ours may have encountered similar circumstances, but i didn't write about them.

I was edgy,

But then you walked in.
And I was ok.

I missed you, I really did.
More than just 'oh haven't seen you in a while so i suppose i missed you'
but actual 'I thought about you and really wished you were there for me to hug' kind of missed you.
I missed your smile, your laugh, your smell.
I missed the comfort of knowing that you are always there
I missed the way that no matter the differences of our lives and the differences between us, you make it seem like it doesn't matter.

I need you there.
I needed you to tell me that it didn't matter
That it was only once, and that it was good anyway
I needed you to tell me that you are completely flabergasted at yours, because you didn't expect it, and don't know how you did it
I needed you to go through stuff and tell me all the good things i did, rather than let me focus on the bad.
I needed you there.
But you couldn't be there
I know it's not your fault
But I still wish you were there.
I don't think I would be taking it so hard if you were there.

I remember what I wanted to say to you,
I love you, and I missed you.

t'would appear my aspirations are too large for my abilities.

I feel bad about writting this, but i need to say it so don't anyone take offence cuz it is relating totally to me and me only.

I got Maths assignment and exam marks back today.
The assignment I aced, as one does in maths assignments.
But the exam.
Oh, the exam.

I remember walking out of that exam thinking 'Wow, i actually think i did alright in that', and then upon hearing that the two most intelligent girls in the grade didn't even start most of the test, I really, honestly thought I would have a chance at getting somewhere this semester. I thought that maybe I would be able to come close to, if not Dux.
Stupid Dream, I know.

Because I got the exam back and I looked at the first mark I saw on the page.
32 out of 41.
That was for Knowledge and Procedures.
I nearly slit my wrists.
Then I proceeded to look at my Modelling and Problem Solving Marks.
I didn't even get the easy one out.
I got a 3, 1,4,3.
Once again, I nearly slit my wrists.

Now I know that these marks are quite acceptable.
I know they may even be good.
But for me, in maths, with this level of work,
it should have been at least 36 out of 41, and at least two of the MAPS out.
I know that I am an A student in Maths.
I know that I have the potential to be an A+ student.
But in one exam, I drop my marks to a measly B+.
For most, this is overjoying.
For me?
It is beyond dismal.
For me, that is a fail.
For me, in maths, to get those marks....I just...I don't know what to do.
I can't get good marks lately.
I just can't get them.
I work my fingers TO THE BONE
and still, I can't get the marks.
My only conclusion is that I am not good enough.
That these marks just aren't an achievable mark for me.

Everyone has one study area, one subject that they excell in.
For me, it's maths, and to have such a terrible mark for me is like an Olympic Standard Swimmer told that actually, they can't swim faster than a 2 year-old.
My entire future education relies on the fact that I am good at, and moreover, Talented at some maths/science subject. My security was always that if I couldn't do too well in physics or chemistry, I would always be good at Maths.
But now I'm not too sure.

Narnia...

I think you're right...no, i know you're right.
Sometimes we need a place we can go, where you can re-create who you are, be a different person, and be accepted for that, and when you come back, everything is still the same.
Like Narnia.
Everyone needs their narnia. a place where they can go, and everything is so different it seems like a magical land with fauns wearing scarfs, and turkish delight that is made from a drop of special potion.
A place where you can go and totally be someone new, try them out, like test driving a car, then when you come home, you can decide if you want to bring the 'new you' with you.
I have that, and i think we all need that.
Where i go, I am like a god to people.
My little cousins, and i'm not trying to sound stuck up, but they WORSHIP me.
and i think sometimes its alright.
For me to feel that there is someone out there who thinks nothing is more important than your favourite person giving you a bath. or sitting next to your favourite person at dinner.
They are y Narnia, because i know that when i come back, there is a very VERY minute amount of people who think i am their absolute world. aka no one.
They are like magical creatures because that is something so new, so un heard of in my world, that i can't help but marvel at them.
So i think we all need our narnia, and go there often.
To escape from the world, to realise that though your life can be harsh and may suck sometimes, there is something magical out there, a magical land that you can return to that will always be there and always amaze you...
I shudder to think what will happen when they grow up and realise that i am not as awesome as they all seem to think....