Lying

I hadn't seen you in almost 2 years
I still thought about you, wondered what you were doing, how you were going
wondering if you ever thought about me
I began to convince myself that I was wrong
that you weren't right for me
and I started to believe it, I really did.
But my detox didn't work
I saw you on Thusday night and something in me changed again
Your surprise to see me,
you quick composure
Your casual, yet serious 'How have you been'
Made me think that I wasn't making it up
But then I see your perfect girlfriend, and I realise my place
Never good enough, or perfect enough for you
I was content with a friendship
But when that was taken away from me, I began to think of what could have been
what might have been. What never will be.
But I don't think I was lying.
I saw you looking at me, when I was trying so hard not to look at you.

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Book 36 - Incurable

Book number: 36
Book name: Incurable
Page Number: 246
Page Subtotal: 12430

Achievement

It's 12:36 and I have finished my Chemistry ERT.
I think I've earned myself some stir-fry. :D
Then I have to learn English... :S

It's time I told you, Thursday

I really don't like your involvement in the school week
You take up my WHOLE day, and teach me nothing
I spend you in SOR watching pointless movies that have no relevance,
And learning how to do a test that I'm already good at
and spending pointless time in lessons that I can be studying at home
So tomorrow, I'm going to spend you at home.
In my study.
And you will be productive, damn it.
I will spend you writing my Chemistry
and researching my Physics
and Learning my English
and doing my maths
and then we will all be happy.
and you don't have the right to judge me for the way I spend my time
My time, my business.

Kristy, I need to share this moment with you

I am currently (obviously) sitting at the computer
While eating.
Part of my biscuit just fell into the keyboard,
so I had to shake it to get it out.
Just thought I'd let you know, cuz I know you'll find it funny.
With Love and biscuit fragments
Tianna
p.s. Sorry for being irritating today :)

Book 35 - While I live

Book Number: 35
Book Title: While I Live
Page Number: 300
Page Subtotal: 12184

I told you

I told you I would
And it turned out much better than I expected; I'm still in one piece

Book 34 - The Other Side of Dawn

Book number: 34
Book Title: The other side of dawn
Page Number: 333
Page subtotal: 11884

I hate poetry

Yet I feel the need to be poetic.
Isn't that odd?
Or maybe that's just me stubborn way of dealing with the fact that I'm not poetic in the slightest
I pretend I don't like it
But I suppose it isn't that at all.
I enjoy poetry, I can analyse it, I understand it
I just can't be it.
I read other people's writting and am amazed at the way the words just flow
their ability to place certain words together in such a perfect way and it makes you smile
Some people critisise food; analyse the different aspects, deconstruct the flavours, the cooking styles. They find joy in the surprising tastes, risky combinations, the pleasing appearances
I do the same, but with words
The mark of a good writer is one which is utterly captivating, who can hold your attention for hours on end, when you are no longer aware of your surroundings, the time, or other needs
A good writer is one that can have you reading the book in days rather than weeks
who is able to be read over and over
A good writer is the sort of person that people choose to read by author, not by book.
I'm not a good writer, to be quite honest, I'm anything but
But I enjoy it like you wouldn't believe
The difference between me and good writers is the ease at which the words come
I am like the Gone With the Wind author, I will re-write a sentence, a line, a phrase 10 times before I am satisfied with it
I cannot convey my envy for those who can write perfect first drafts.
Anyway, the point of this is to tell you all that I think I'm going to go write
Seems the weather for it

Book 33 - The night is for Hunting

Book Number: 33
Book Title: The Night is for Hunting
Page Number: 252
Page subtotal: 11551

Book 32 - Burning for Revenge

Book title: Burning for Revenge
Book Number: 32
Page Number: 274
Page Subtotal: 11299

I had a good day

It never occured to me before this term how much we have in common,
and how well we get along.
Just thought I'd let you know
that I'm glad you're my friend.
Particularly when you say extrodinarily cute things
Particularly when you ask me to hurry up 2 seconds before I'm finished
Particularly when you give me that random seedy smile
Particularly when I find random scribblings in my book that I know are from you
Particularly when we spend 30 minutes chasing, playing with and mourning a bug named fred

So thanks for being there and laughing with me
Cuz I had a good day

p.s. I'm assuming it was you that drew two random ovals at the top of my english book? they look like eyes... SCARY! :P

Repayments

I owe it to you
You owe it to me
Yet we sit in silence
And wait for the moment to pass
To let toe awkwardness pass over
The momentary obligation to talk

I do owe it to you.
I think it's time I told you the whole story

Book 31 - The Red Tent

Book Number: 31
Book title: The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Page Number 395
Page Subtotal: 11025

For english we were asked to choose a book that had changed us
A book which shaped who we are as people
I had a list, but she recommended me this one
I read it, and was amazed at even myself
at the change, the transformation I saw in myself
This book truly did change me
Never before had I been quite so eager to read a book of its genre
Never before have I enjoyed a book that I should
Never before have I cried for so long while and after reading a book
The book changed me more than I can say
and I'm glad I am able to write an assigment on it
Because it deserves it

Fear is pain.
'My stomach was ripped out with the fear of what was coming'
the uncertainty
the unknown
the fear
PAIN
My pain is real
My fear is real
But it won't go away
The only thing to fix it
will cause more pain
So I sit
and endure
in fear
Because the fear is worth it
The pain is worth it
I would kill for it to stay
So I won't tell
that my fear, is pain