Bailey

At our house, he had his own room...well he had a favourite room, and we just let him sleep there, although it meant we had to wash the doona everytime someone came over...

We once had a sleepover, and one of my friends was petrified of cats and we were sleeping in 'his room' so my altelope stayed up all night entertaining him with a piece of rope, while the rest of us blissfully slept, not knowing that she was running up and down the stairs with a rope and a cat 'hot on her heels'...i think she got a few scratches that night... lol

In Loving Memory...

We got a kitten at the end of 2005.

He was the greatest bundle if joy.

He chased your feet as you went down the stairs in the morning

He would claw into your feet and hang onto your veins as you dragged him along in pain.

He licked your hand clean 3 times a day

He had major PMS, at any time other than from 8-9am and 3-5pm

He liked to run head-long into glass doors, trying to gain a response from his reflection

He liked to unwrap Christmas Presents before Christmas

He liked to be scratched between his eyes, almost on his nose

He bit you when you scratched under his chin for more than 3 seconds

He bit you when you touched his feet

He disliked collars (especially the flea ones) and usually chewed his way out of them

He liked to flick cat litter ALL over the laundry

When there were 10 eight year old girls in the house, he hid behind the waching machine

He was afraid of grass for about 6 months, he used to sink into it, so he ventured around the backyard on the cement seperating the garden bed from the grass

He liked to play in the curtains

He scratched the hell out of the bottom of mums bed

He sctrached the hell out of the bottom of the family room couch

We never let him near the 'good lounge', but somehow he scratched the hell out of the bottom of that too

He didn't like to play dress ups

He didn't like geckoes much

He liked to attack your feet through the doona in the morning

He loved water

He used to go into the shower after you were done and lick the floor

He used to sit in the sink and wait for a drop of water to fall

He would bite and scratch your feet until you turned on the bath tap for him, so he could drink from it

He used to use his paw to scoop water out of the pool to drink

For obvious reasons, when we used a spray bottle with water as a punishment, it didn't work...maybe thats why he scratched so much, he thought he was being rewarded for it!

He hated his numerous water bowls, he never drank out of them

The first 3 nights we had him, I stroked him to sleep, he missed his mum

He slept in an upturned stool (the ones children use to reach the sink etc when they are little) untill he wasn't scared of the basket

He went on at least 5 aeroplane trips in his life

When he lived with my grandparents, he slept on my grandfather's chest

He once tried to sit in a really small decorative bowl, fell out and broke it...mum wasn't happy

He used to chase birds, so the neighbours hade us put a bell on him so the birds could fly away...He didn't like that

His name was Bailey

He died last Saturday.

Things that need to be said...

This is in a completely different context then it may appear, but it needs to be said...

Before you my life was like a moonless night.
Very dark, but there were stars -- points of like and reason...
And then you shot across my sky like a meteor.
Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty.
When you are gone, when the meteor has fallen over the horizon, everything is black.
Nothing has changed, but my eyes are blinded by the light.
I couldn't see the stars anymore.
And there was no more reason for anything.

I know this is your favourite quote, and the ironic thing is, it applies to you.
When I'm not around you, i have my 'angry at the world' days,
i am bored, unenthused and restless
but when i see you, your smile and your happiness,
it makes me happy too.
when you are sad, i am sad,
your pain is my pain.
but i don't mind.
there is only one other person on this planet who is the same
and i am glad for that

without the two of you,
there would be no point in me being here
i am so glad i know you, words cannot describe it

My Love

i have discovered that i am a very wary person
not in everyday life, though i am a careful person
but i am wary with my love
i am slow to give it away, and only in small portions
because i am afraid that if i give away and lose too much,
there will be no more left to give

i rarely tell people i love them
even family
because to me,
each time you say the words,
they mean a little less
if you use them sparingly,
there may be enough to get you through a life time
but if you use them up,
no matter how often you say you love someone,
there is no love left,
just empty words
as much as i believe in the power of the words
'i love you'
i agree with Snow Patrol
'those three words are said too much, they're not enough'
i believe in showing that you love someone
not telling them
i will tell people i love them
but if you know me well enought,
you will be able to tell the difference between my
'i love you, you're a great person'
and
'i love you, from the bottom of my heart, there would be no point in life without you'

if you count the 'i love you's' you have recieved,
don't count the first one
count the second type,
depending on the type of person you are,
there won't be many
and i feel guilty
because there are people who i love
really and truly,
but i can't bring myself to give them the second type of 'i love you'
i think i gave too many of those away
and got too little of them back
and i know that if there are too many more that go missing
there won't be any left

but there are always people who know the difference between my 'i love you's'
and they do the same
there is a difference in tone and emotion between the
'surface' i love you
and the 'deep, from the bottom of my heart' i love you
i appreciate the deep ones,
though there are few people who give them away
maybe they too, are afraid to give too many away

so you should count yourself lucky,
and one of a kind if you recieve my love
because you obviously have done something to deserve it

i don't give love away to anyone,
only those i love
and i think that it is more powerful to reciece one true 'i love you'
rather than thousands of off-handed, response 'i only said it cuz i had to' i love you's

You say you love her

you think you are worthy of her
you constantly tell her that you love her
that you are in love with her
but you don't know what love is
you are too self absorbed
too selfish
to see what you are doing to her
and you don't care,
as long as you get your way
if you loved her you would suffer your own pain
so that she could be happy
you would throw yourself in front of a bus to save her cat
so she wouldn't have to grieve
you would do ANYTHING for her
just so that she would be happy
if you cared at all for her,
you would wake up almost in tears because she was angry with you in a dream you had
you would actually think about what you said,
before you said it, and censor it so as not to hurt her any more than you already have
if you loved her, you would take what friendship
she still seems willing to give you
and make the most of it

you need to decide
do you love her, or do you want her as your own
because im afraid that if you want her as your own,
you're probably not going to get her
but if you love her,
love her like you say you do
let her be
give in
let her be HAPPY!
you are taking away her happiness,
punishing her still,
for something that happened so long ago,
neither of you can remember what happened.

like the King Solomon story in the bible
the two women fighting over the baby
and he said he would cut the kid in half,
and give half to each
but what he really wanted to see was who loved the child enough to give it up to protect it

you are cutting her in half
she may not show it, but you are cutting her up in side
you need to be the woman, you need to be Jacob
give up fighting for the baby, for Bella
and accept that though you may love her the most,
you know that you aren't right for her,
and maybe no one is,
but love her enough to want to see her happy,
even just for now
and let her be

A nightmare by my standards

isn't it wierd how the nice dreams leave your mind as soon as you wake up, yet i woke up 2 and a half hours ago, and the nightmare is still vivid in my mind...even what i was wearing...it isn't the general or normal standard of a nightmare...no zombies, monsters or blood and guts... but you were leaving me, you were gone and i couldn't handle it...don't ever do that to me again.

We went to visit our house.
i was explaining it to people, just some randoms who happened to be in my car
it was saddening, kind of like Ashgrove, totally the same, yet it never could be
we were driving down Queen Elizabeth drive, and i called you, to ask you where and when our debate was
you told me it was at Grammar, and it started in 10 minutes, not an hour like i expected
we got there, i don't know how long it took us, but you were sitting there with Molly, Renata and Camilla, and you were absolutely furious with me
it was devestating, i'd never seen you like that
i ran crying out of the room,
to the roof
i actually contemplated jumping
but i knew that as much as i wanted to
it wouldn't solve it
so i ran to molly
and she told me that we lost the debate
and you blamed me
when i had walked past you in the corridor,
you just brushed past me,
not meeting my eyes
i was hysterical
i couldn't control my tears
and no one understood
they all said that it was just a friend
she'll get over it
shes not worth it
but i knew you were worth it
and i couldn't handle that you left me
you hated me
and there was no real logical reason for it.

it was such a traumatic dream
that when i woke up
i had to assure myself that it was in fact a dream
thank god it was
i don't think i would have taken time to thing
about the building if the dream was real

i would have jumped

The way my brain works

one of the funniest emails ive ever written! the whole thing was me annotating my thought train...

is energy measured in Joules? cuz the abbreviation is J...joules seemed kinda familiar???

cuz at the moment, in my 2-page theory statement, i am sounding pretty well informed on the subject, and if i get there and start talking Joules, when im just thinking of kilojoules, which makes you fat, which i will get when i get all depressed for talking about kilojoules in a chem...WAIT!!!!
KILOJOULES ISN'T WEIGHT...ITS ENERGY! LIKE STAMINA ENERGY, BUT ITS MEASURED IN JOULES!

THANKYOU MS JELL IN YR 10 PE!!!

back to your merry 'ol life!

don't ask how, or why my brain works this way,
but it does
im really one of those people who think really smart things
well they seem smart in my head
until i try to say what i mean
and fail
its hilarious!
but i do end up sounding really dumb...
which is bad...
im gonna stop writting now













haha fooled you!
i really am going now, i have to finish ny theory statement!

Dearest Antelope

now that i know my log rules, i can talk to you! XD

i always knew that you were there for me
i knew you had a valid reason when you kept stuff from me
i have always known, despite that,
that you have always been and will always be my number one.
you are the person who will be the first to know about my first love
you will be the first to know when i get engages
you will be the first to know when im pregnant
you will be the first to know everything about me
you are my person
and i know that that will never change.
apology accepted, it wasn't even necessary,
no matter what you do to me,
there will be no getting rid of me
i will always be there no matter what
i promise
and just so we are clear,
i also praise ground you walk on

there are few people i can say this about,
but if it werent for you,
i wouldn't a) be where i am today
b) or be where i am today as a sane and civil person

i don't know how to put this into words,
but without you i would have fallen apart years age
ive said it before
and ill say it again
if i am humpty dumpty,
so many people are the horses men,
but you are my glue
when i fall off the wall,
not only do you put me together again
but you put me back on the wall
i will always thank you for that
and i will always love you

Just so you know

you've been bugging me for a while

im warming up to yell

don't worry, i will get there

i'm just not in the right frame of mind..

ill wait for one of my 'angry at the world days'

according to her pebbles, it happens a lot
lol

but when i do let lose...
there will be a lot to let lose about

I don’t know you anymore. I thought I did but you changed.
I hate you for the fact that she chases after you
I hate you for the fact that she loves you so much and you don’t even see it
I hate you for the fact that you love her so much and don't let her forget it
I hate you for the fact that she doesn’t care to get hurt in the process
I hate you for the fact that you don’t care
I hate you for the fact that you just dump her like garbage
I hate you for the fact that she took so long to heal, and now that she has, you have broken her again
I hate you for the fact that I will have to be the one to see her in pain, while she tries to hide it
I hate you for the fact that you don't really care what happens to her no matter how much you say you love her
I hate you for the fact that you won't let her be happy with her
I hate you for the fact that you are too selfish to want to see her happy
I hate you for the fact that she hates that you do all this
But, like her, I can’t hate YOU.... I hate that most of all.

Didn't want to dampen the mood...

i was thinking last night,
why i hadn't cried in so long
and i figured it out
i always used to cry at the drop of a hat,
and then...
nothing
i turned cold, hard
and i just realised why

i ran out of tears

she still remembers the first time she cried

her father was yelling at her mother

she stood there

waiting for it to end,

tears silently streaming down her face

but still she had hope

though she felt helpless

she ran to the foot of the stairs

and sat in the corner.

She began to cry uncontrollably,

just letting the tears come,

not bothering to wipe them,

and knowing that when she did,

there would be twice as many in their place.

She still remembers her last father’s day.

That day, she finally realised

what a monster he had turned into.

She realised that there was no going back.

She accepted it that day.

She didn’t sleep for a year.

She is still broken.

That father’s day was the

last day he was her dad.

Ironic isn’t it?

I've Decided

nothing...or rather i've decided i'm going to do nothing...

In other news,
i would like to thank you
i like it when you complement me
it makes me feel like, even when i am at my worst
you are there, no matter what
i knew that already,
but it was nice to hear all the same

so thankyou for complementing me
and for being there

love you always!

Gotta Love the Amanda Show

Knock, knock
who's there?
Fire extinguisher
Fire extinguisher who?
I'm gonna hit you over the head with a fire extinguisher
huh?
*hits over head with fire extinguisher*
[laughs] that was a good one!

I'm from Tenesse!
I'm Popular!
I like... eggs!

This one time, i went to the zoo
and there was this animal
and it was all like
grrr
and there was this other animal
and it was all like
grrr
and there was this other animal
and it was all
grrr
and there was this other animal
and it was like
tktktktkt aaatktktkt
*makes random squeeking noises*
and that was totally kyle!
totally!

ARGH!

HOW DO I LINK THIS TO MY PROFILE!

GB, cuz you are the only one who appears to be able to read this, could you please tell me how to link my blog to my image?

cuz if madz wants to read this, she can't cuz when she clicks on my picture, my blog isn't attached!

and i don't know why!

Well this is interesting

Hello Genah!

Iwonder i you know who this is.

Well here are some clues...

La Tua Mumma e` bene in camera

and

tu ragazza cane

know who i am? lol

if not, i am not happy!

I still don't know if i am angry at you...
i think i was somewhere along the line,
but i forgot why

OH, i had an italian exam today
and i only half failed... which is an improvement
on last time, when i literally did fail
as in i got a D
that was depressing
I've never gotten a D before
but what scares me is that at the time
i didn't care
hmmm...
good thing that has changed, its not a good thing to think

Antelope, if you're out there, please follow me...
i feel lonely

Do you know what bugs me?

Disrespect.

I see it all the time.

And there is nothing i hate more than a disrespectful person.

I'm one of the nerdy ones at school, and i do debating,
and tonight we have a secret debate, and we were relying on a certian girl to chairperson
and she tells us at 1 o'clock that it appears she can't cuz she has a draft due.

if you are in a team and commited to something, you stick at it.
you don't get out when the going gets tough.

do you know another thing that bugs me?
disrespect for teachers.

i really think teachers are great, they educate the future generations
and i believe that no matter how annoying they are, you do not disrespect them.

They don't have to help you
they don't have to mark your drafts
they don't have to give up their lunch times to do your stuff

so shouldn't you be thanking them, instead of abusing them at every chance you get?

I really hate disrespect...