isn't it wierd how the nice dreams leave your mind as soon as you wake up, yet i woke up 2 and a half hours ago, and the nightmare is still vivid in my mind...even what i was wearing...it isn't the general or normal standard of a nightmare...no zombies, monsters or blood and guts... but you were leaving me, you were gone and i couldn't handle it...don't ever do that to me again.
We went to visit our house.
i was explaining it to people, just some randoms who happened to be in my car
it was saddening, kind of like Ashgrove, totally the same, yet it never could be
we were driving down Queen Elizabeth drive, and i called you, to ask you where and when our debate was
you told me it was at Grammar, and it started in 10 minutes, not an hour like i expected
we got there, i don't know how long it took us, but you were sitting there with Molly, Renata and Camilla, and you were absolutely furious with me
it was devestating, i'd never seen you like that
i ran crying out of the room,
to the roof
i actually contemplated jumping
but i knew that as much as i wanted to
it wouldn't solve it
so i ran to molly
and she told me that we lost the debate
and you blamed me
when i had walked past you in the corridor,
you just brushed past me,
not meeting my eyes
i was hysterical
i couldn't control my tears
and no one understood
they all said that it was just a friend
she'll get over it
shes not worth it
but i knew you were worth it
and i couldn't handle that you left me
you hated me
and there was no real logical reason for it.
it was such a traumatic dream
that when i woke up
i had to assure myself that it was in fact a dream
thank god it was
i don't think i would have taken time to thing
about the building if the dream was real
i would have jumped
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