I can't keep the wave upon the sand...

You're slipping from me. You're slipping from all of us.
We've all morphed into these people that we don't even recognise, certainly people we never wanted to be.
How do we go back. How do we go forward from here?
How is it that it wasn't until I started LIVING that I started living a life of regret?
How is it that all my ideals, my values, the truths I held onto have completely shifted?
How did I let it happen.
They're right. People change when you leave high school. Priorities shift, personalities change, commonalities extinguish.
We're grown ups. How did this happen? And how do we make it stop?
Why the fuck am I sitting here typing this. We all know that it won't do any good. We all know I'm too gutless to actually DO anything about it anyway. So I'll sit here on my high fucking horse and complain that you're slipping from me, when I'm the one who's allowing it. But I'm just so TIRED. Too tired to care enough to make a difference. And that scares me. What happened to the me that wanted to make a difference? What happened to the me that cared about everyone no matter what?
You changed me. In ways I didn't even recognise at the time. But you've changed me so truly and deeply that I don't know how to go back. It's like you've completely re-located my life, but didn't give me a map of how to return.
I need the map. I need to go back. I need you to undo what you did
But it's too late for that

It's all my fault...

I've been so absent, self-centered and uninterested for so long that everyone else has fallen apart.
Everyone is literally falling to pieces before my eyes, and I've been oblivious to it.
How could I not see, how could I not CARE?
But I'm going to change. I'm going to become the person I used to be, and the person who I want to be.
I will help, I will care.
I will be there when you need me most, because you were there when I needed you most.
I will fix this, all of this