Thankyou

It does mean a lot coming from you
I feel bad, I feel as if I neglect you,
when god knows you need me more than she does
I'm not doing it on purpose.
I try my hardest to keep you all sane,
but sometimes I forget
sometimes I forget what good actors you both are
When, though everyone may think you are fine,
you really aren't
When, deep down, there is a dark and twisty Merideth lurking beneath the happy fascade in all of us
When deep down, none of us are ok.
I think I understand why people develop eating disorders
Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to start starving myself, I don't work that way
But I understand the reasoning behind it
It is because of that unbelievable feeling of no control
the feeling that your whole life, your whole world is passing you by
that everyone is up to level 10 and you're still figuring out how to pass level 2
when you hear ex-anorexics talk, they say that the reason they starved themselves
was for the control
so that there was one thing in this world that they actually had some control over
I wish it were that easy.
Because even through that, they lost control
Particularly because of that, they, once again had life out of control.
So no, I'm not about to starve myself
but I wish there was something I could control
I wish there was something in this world that was left totally up to me.

You are my Izzy. I have always seen you as the Izzy in my life
So I very much appreciate your promise.
I hope I don't have to hold you to it XD