t'would appear that 100 posts does not necessarily mean 100 published posts.
lol
i really should have checked that...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Giving Up
Never in my life have I contemplated giving up than these last few weeks.
I have seriously wondered if it would be possible for me to just stop, and still do what I want to do.
I realised the answer is no.
And besides,
I don't want to be the straight A student who had her whole life ahead of her who quit high school and screwed up her whole life.
I could easily do it.
But I'm not going to.
For now.
But does anyone else just get that feeling of being overwhelmed?
I came home yesterday, and the thought of having to walk up those stairs after such a stressful and tiring week nearly brought tears to my eyes.
Between the heat and the stress, and the wanting to give up,
all I could do was collapse on my bed and try to breathe.
All afternoon I was vacant.
I wasn't talking, I wasn't doing anything, because I didn't have the energy to be happy.
A smile or laughter was all too much for me, by the end of this week.
But I'm all good now.
It reminds me that no matter how hard something seems, it will get better.
You will heal
and you will live to smile another day.
I don't know what I was getting at here,
But I think I just needed to convince myself that giving up was not an option,
particularly seeing as I'm about to start some Physics study.
If there ever was a thing that I found hard and 'slit my wrists-y' it is Physics.
But all we can do is endure.
Just endure.
If it's all you can ever do, and this I have learnt this year,
All you must to is endure.
Endure the assignments
Endure the impending depression
Endure the workload
Endure the Maths question
Endure the constant demand of your attention and intelligence.
Just endure.
And, in the end, you will get there,
you will no longer need to endure, you can do it anyway.
I think I have said enough for one day
besides, I really must start this Physics!!
I have seriously wondered if it would be possible for me to just stop, and still do what I want to do.
I realised the answer is no.
And besides,
I don't want to be the straight A student who had her whole life ahead of her who quit high school and screwed up her whole life.
I could easily do it.
But I'm not going to.
For now.
But does anyone else just get that feeling of being overwhelmed?
I came home yesterday, and the thought of having to walk up those stairs after such a stressful and tiring week nearly brought tears to my eyes.
Between the heat and the stress, and the wanting to give up,
all I could do was collapse on my bed and try to breathe.
All afternoon I was vacant.
I wasn't talking, I wasn't doing anything, because I didn't have the energy to be happy.
A smile or laughter was all too much for me, by the end of this week.
But I'm all good now.
It reminds me that no matter how hard something seems, it will get better.
You will heal
and you will live to smile another day.
I don't know what I was getting at here,
But I think I just needed to convince myself that giving up was not an option,
particularly seeing as I'm about to start some Physics study.
If there ever was a thing that I found hard and 'slit my wrists-y' it is Physics.
But all we can do is endure.
Just endure.
If it's all you can ever do, and this I have learnt this year,
All you must to is endure.
Endure the assignments
Endure the impending depression
Endure the workload
Endure the Maths question
Endure the constant demand of your attention and intelligence.
Just endure.
And, in the end, you will get there,
you will no longer need to endure, you can do it anyway.
I think I have said enough for one day
besides, I really must start this Physics!!
I don't think you understand...
I know you're hurting.
And there is no way you could ever keep that from me.
You need to understand that not knowing why you're hurting,
and that helpless sense of uselessness it worse than seeing you hurting...
well not really, but it's close.
You can come to me.
Tell me all your problems and I will fix them for you.
That's my job
To take away your pain, and dispose of it safely.
You can't keep this from me.
I will find out in the end...
If it's different from what I think it is.
Don't worry about me.
Don't think that you are protecting me,
I can't bear to watch you upset,
So let me help you fix it.
Love you always,
My darling Amythyst
And there is no way you could ever keep that from me.
You need to understand that not knowing why you're hurting,
and that helpless sense of uselessness it worse than seeing you hurting...
well not really, but it's close.
You can come to me.
Tell me all your problems and I will fix them for you.
That's my job
To take away your pain, and dispose of it safely.
You can't keep this from me.
I will find out in the end...
If it's different from what I think it is.
Don't worry about me.
Don't think that you are protecting me,
I can't bear to watch you upset,
So let me help you fix it.
Love you always,
My darling Amythyst
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I'm not going to tell you it'll be easy
Cuz it won't.
It will hurt like hell
You will hurt, and cry, and be angry,
At yourself, and at her
but then
one day
It will change.
You will realise that
things are getting better
You are sleeping a little longer
Eating a little more
Begining to smile once in a while
You start to forget
Forget the pain,
Forget that you 'should' be sad
But don't feel guilty,
You are allowed to forget
She won't want you to be sad forever
But be sad
Feel the pain
For as long as you have to.
Don't let others decide when you should
and shouldn't feel pain.
That's your choice,
Your decision
All you have to do
Is deal with it to the best of your ability
Thats all you can do.
Just do your best, and you will cope.
Do your best, and you will get through it.
Love you always,
you have a special place in my heart
It will hurt like hell
You will hurt, and cry, and be angry,
At yourself, and at her
but then
one day
It will change.
You will realise that
things are getting better
You are sleeping a little longer
Eating a little more
Begining to smile once in a while
You start to forget
Forget the pain,
Forget that you 'should' be sad
But don't feel guilty,
You are allowed to forget
She won't want you to be sad forever
But be sad
Feel the pain
For as long as you have to.
Don't let others decide when you should
and shouldn't feel pain.
That's your choice,
Your decision
All you have to do
Is deal with it to the best of your ability
Thats all you can do.
Just do your best, and you will cope.
Do your best, and you will get through it.
Love you always,
you have a special place in my heart
You know I still checked
Just in case, waiting for you to write something.
And then, for a couple of days, I don't.
And you blog.
And I missed it.
Just my luck.
I miss reading you
And then, for a couple of days, I don't.
And you blog.
And I missed it.
Just my luck.
I miss reading you
Monday, November 9, 2009
Book 5 - The Reptile Room
This is the second of the Lemony Snicket Novels.
Book Number: 5
Book Title: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events Book the Second: The Reptile Room
Page Number: 190
Page Subtotal: 637
WooHoo! More Pages!!
In this one, the orphans are taken to their Uncle Monty (They haven't ever met him) who is a herpatologist I think, He studies snakes and reptiles. They have a wonderful time with him until his new assistant arrives, Stefano, only it is really Count Olaf in disguise. After threatening to cut of Sunny's toe, Stefano kills Uncle Monty, making it seem as if a snake did it. He then proceeds to attempt to whisk them away to Peru, but accidently drives into Mr Poe's car (he's the bank manager due in charge of the Baudelaire Fortune) when the children tell him what is going on, and Olaf escapes. The children get back in Mr Poe's car ready to be re-asigned a guardian.
I would give this one a 7.5 out of 10. It is quite good, and I like the style of writting that Snicket uses.
Book Number: 5
Book Title: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events Book the Second: The Reptile Room
Page Number: 190
Page Subtotal: 637
WooHoo! More Pages!!
In this one, the orphans are taken to their Uncle Monty (They haven't ever met him) who is a herpatologist I think, He studies snakes and reptiles. They have a wonderful time with him until his new assistant arrives, Stefano, only it is really Count Olaf in disguise. After threatening to cut of Sunny's toe, Stefano kills Uncle Monty, making it seem as if a snake did it. He then proceeds to attempt to whisk them away to Peru, but accidently drives into Mr Poe's car (he's the bank manager due in charge of the Baudelaire Fortune) when the children tell him what is going on, and Olaf escapes. The children get back in Mr Poe's car ready to be re-asigned a guardian.
I would give this one a 7.5 out of 10. It is quite good, and I like the style of writting that Snicket uses.
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