It doesn't Matter

I wonder too.
What do you do if the one thing that makes you you is gone.
There was this woman on a medical show who had a tumor in the part of her brain that held her personality.
In order to save her life, they would have had to cut out the section, meaning she would no longer be her
She chose to die, rather than loose that part.
I would too.
I have asked the question before
What do I do
If the one thing I am known for
The one thing I had going for me was gone.
And do you know what you told me?
It doesn't matter.
you said I would still be the person you know and love.
You said nothing would change.
And so
I say the same to you.
I do not love you for your brains
I do not love you for your ability to recite the different sections of the brain
I do not love you for you amazing mental capabilities.
I love you for you.
So even if all that goes
Even if none of that is there anymore
I will still love you
Because to me
None of that matters.

A mother does not love her child for their brain
She loves them for their heart

I've changed my underpants

As you would say. Naturally, I also actually changed my underpants, but I do that twice daily anyway, and rarely blog about it. This blog actually has nothing to do with underpants, despite the amount of times the word has already been used.

I read your blog. And although I don't think it was written to me, it relates to me.
I need to stop doing things for others.
I need to do it for myself.
So I will.
Well, I'll try.
But, as my spouse, it will be your job to pull me back into line
When I get irritated with myself, or angry
it's your job to stop me, ok?
Because I don't like the person I've become
And I don't want to be her anymore.
I don't want to be a mindless robot who does nothing but sit in front of a computer all day
I want to go out, have fun and actually be a teenager.
As I said, I have changed my underpants, but by underpants, I mean I mean mind.
I have changed my mind.
What I do, I still do for her,
But I'm not going to go straight into Medicine.
For one, I don't want to be graduated before you guys
But I know that if I do try and go straight in,
I will become that mindless robot that I hate
and you won't be able to pull me away.
So I will do it my way.
I will study Bio-medical science.
You can too, if you want
And after we graduate, you, me molly and kristy can move to Melbourne like you wanted to
and we can become hot-shot doctors there.
Or, if we enjoy the home cooked meals too much, we can stay here until we finish our internship, and then move.
Deal?
But I'm counting on you
Im counting on you to remind me of my sanity,
Of this blog
Of my promise to myself that I will not become a mindless robot.
Will you do that for me?

Yes

The fear
The sheer fear that he would cause her to cry one more time
The fear of being away from her, that she too might disapear
The fear.
But for me, there weren't times before
Well, not in recent years anyway
I suppose it had happened before.
But it was all good.
Well it seemed to be for us at the time anyway.
Looking back I can see that it wasn't
But that's beside the point.

But I'm ok now.
Comparitively anyway.
Because of you and because of her, I made it through.
So together, we will make sure you make it through.
All of you.
So don't hesitate
Call me,
Find me
Hug me,
Cry on me,
Yell at me,
Confide in me

Because I will be there,
No matter what
Even if you don't want me, I will be there.
You don't understand the immense support and help you were to me
You and her were my escape
So we will be your escape

I'll be there
I'll be there
Just call my name
And I'll be there

I'm sorry

i just realised it has been about a year since our fight.
i am truly sorry about that.
i don't know what it is with this time of year, but the girls seem to go psycho

so, because i haven't yet, i want to formally apologise.
i know i hurt you,
and i know it was bad
i was hurting too
but i realised just yesterday how far our friendship has come in the last year.
there was a time where it was sort of off again, on again, but now i feel it is definately on.
i don't know why, but now, i seem to value your friendship more than before i lost it.

so thankyou, for coming back and welcoming me back into your life
i probably don't deserve it,
so thankyou anyway

i will always have a special place for you in my heart.
my little blondie

'I'm lost without you'

me without you is like

bread without butter
mobiles without credit
B1 without B2
the cat without a hat
a bed without sheets
a hardrive without a screen
a violin without strings
the night sky without stars
a car without seatbelts
a toothbrush without toothpaste
a pencil case without pens
a school without kids
alice without her wonderland
TWEEDLE-DEE WITHOUT TWEEDLE-DUMM

without you i am alone, bare and helpless.
incomplete, unfinished
you said that your solution for not ever causing anyone grief is to not die.
i have said that death is not the worst thing that can happen to a person...i agree with that...but it's the worst thing that can happen to their family.
so do me a favour...
stick to your word...
don't die...
don't leave me.

dictionary says...
LOVE
1.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

that is NOTHING compared to how i feel for you. i have such a sense of protection, and utter...i don't know, there is no word for it, but i promise you, if you were to die tomorrow, i would never stop grieving...never stop thinking about you...and i would never stop loving you...

besides, i'm your husband, i will protect you no matter what, so you won't die...i promise