maybe i had a list
maybe i considered it
maybe i did
maybe i didn't.
maybe i realised that it wasn't for me
maybe i realised i want more than that can give me
maybe i realised i wouldn't be strong enough anyway
maybe i realised i didn't want it enough to go through what you did
maybe, baby
Saturday, August 29, 2009
No body realises
how observant i am.
i don't usually say much...just sit in the corner so to speak, and watch.
i watch and i listen.
i pick up on things i shouldn't
i see things i wish i didn't
but all the while
no body realises
how observant i am.
i see you. whether you actually realise, or whether it is noticable or not, i see it.
no body realises, but i know you well. i know your body language, your facial expressions, everything. both of you. and i know. i see you. and i watch and i wait.
no body realises how much i care for you
no body realises how much you mean to me
no body realises how hard it is for me to see you in pain
no body realises that when you try to hide your pain, i still see it
no body realises how painful their words can be
no body realises that it's none of their business
no body realises
no body realises
no body realises how observant i am.
you say that your friends know more than you want them to, more than they should.
i am one of them.
because no body realises how observant i am.
no body realises what i have the potential to know.
no body realises that there is no point in hiding anything from me, because i am only going to find out in the end. it's only a matter of time.
no body realises me
i don't usually say much...just sit in the corner so to speak, and watch.
i watch and i listen.
i pick up on things i shouldn't
i see things i wish i didn't
but all the while
no body realises
how observant i am.
i see you. whether you actually realise, or whether it is noticable or not, i see it.
no body realises, but i know you well. i know your body language, your facial expressions, everything. both of you. and i know. i see you. and i watch and i wait.
no body realises how much i care for you
no body realises how much you mean to me
no body realises how hard it is for me to see you in pain
no body realises that when you try to hide your pain, i still see it
no body realises how painful their words can be
no body realises that it's none of their business
no body realises
no body realises
no body realises how observant i am.
you say that your friends know more than you want them to, more than they should.
i am one of them.
because no body realises how observant i am.
no body realises what i have the potential to know.
no body realises that there is no point in hiding anything from me, because i am only going to find out in the end. it's only a matter of time.
no body realises me
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Disappointement
i completed the 40 hr famine on sunday.
i was quite dissapointed in myself.
why?
well, in 40 hrs i consumed 5 barley sugars and about 2 litres of water
no, i didn't cheat.
no, the reason i was disappointed was that the 40hr fmaine is supposed to be a challenge, something you struggle to do. something you consider giving up on.
though i thought of food adnd would have liked some, i wasn't hungry.i wasn't sitting there brooding about the Etheopian children. no, i was out enjoying myself because
a) i wasn't actually hungry
and b) i knew at the end i would have food waiting for me anyway.
IT WASN'T A CHALLENGE
the 40hr famine should be something that requires complete self-control and dicipline, great will power and be a major challenge.
next year? definately
only next year i am going to suffer like an etheopia child.
no food
limited water
no furnature
no electricity
no human contact
next year i plan to have 40 hrs of no talking, no emailing, no light, no tv, i will use only 2 buckets of water in the 2 days.
i will suffer and i will stick it out.
and only then will i begin to realise how good i have it.
i was quite dissapointed in myself.
why?
well, in 40 hrs i consumed 5 barley sugars and about 2 litres of water
no, i didn't cheat.
no, the reason i was disappointed was that the 40hr fmaine is supposed to be a challenge, something you struggle to do. something you consider giving up on.
though i thought of food adnd would have liked some, i wasn't hungry.i wasn't sitting there brooding about the Etheopian children. no, i was out enjoying myself because
a) i wasn't actually hungry
and b) i knew at the end i would have food waiting for me anyway.
IT WASN'T A CHALLENGE
the 40hr famine should be something that requires complete self-control and dicipline, great will power and be a major challenge.
next year? definately
only next year i am going to suffer like an etheopia child.
no food
limited water
no furnature
no electricity
no human contact
next year i plan to have 40 hrs of no talking, no emailing, no light, no tv, i will use only 2 buckets of water in the 2 days.
i will suffer and i will stick it out.
and only then will i begin to realise how good i have it.
WHERE DO YOU GET OFF
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.
I ACTUALLY CANNOT BELIEVE THE THINGS YOU SAY.
WHY DON'T YOU READ YOUR BLOG YOURSELF AND REALISE THAT HALF THE STUFF YOU ARE TRYING TO PIN ON HER IS ACTUALLY YOU
YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!
YOU ARE TOO SELF ABSORBED, TOO FOCUSED ON WHAT MATTERS TO YOU TO SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I THOUGHT OF YOU AS A FRIEND.
YOU ARE THE FURTHEREST THING FROM IT.
I JUST DON'T GET WHERE YOU GET OFF BLAMING HER FOR YOUR MISTAKES.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE THE LAST WORD, ALWAYS HAVE TO ENSURE THAT NO ONE SEES YOU AS THE BAD GUY
WELL GUESS WHAT?
ITS NOT WORKING
you are pathetic
I ACTUALLY CANNOT BELIEVE THE THINGS YOU SAY.
WHY DON'T YOU READ YOUR BLOG YOURSELF AND REALISE THAT HALF THE STUFF YOU ARE TRYING TO PIN ON HER IS ACTUALLY YOU
YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!
YOU ARE TOO SELF ABSORBED, TOO FOCUSED ON WHAT MATTERS TO YOU TO SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I THOUGHT OF YOU AS A FRIEND.
YOU ARE THE FURTHEREST THING FROM IT.
I JUST DON'T GET WHERE YOU GET OFF BLAMING HER FOR YOUR MISTAKES.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE THE LAST WORD, ALWAYS HAVE TO ENSURE THAT NO ONE SEES YOU AS THE BAD GUY
WELL GUESS WHAT?
ITS NOT WORKING
you are pathetic
you make me ME
i don't know if you know.
but everytime i am with you, i feel a sense of calmness.
i don't feel the pressure to be anything i'm not, to put my guard up.
when i am with you, there is something about you that makes me ME again.
i no longer feel self concious, nervous or quiet and shy. with you i am more lively, confident and HAPPY. you make me YOU, and i think that is one of the best ways to be.
on saturday to begin with i was self concious about what i was wearing, how i was acting, but you just make me calm. i was making conversation and jokes with people i hardly knew. i was totally comfortable and not afraid to say or do anything, because i no longer cared what other people thought, i was happy. for the first time in a very long time, i let go.
i always thought that i would never get a guy to even look at me, yet when i let go, when i stopped caring, i found that maybe, just maybe someone might like what they see in me.
i know it was just a dance and guys dance with girls all over the place, but to have someone want to dance with me, particularly with you standing next to me, gave me the confidence and self esteem i need. i have developed the confidence, over the last couple of months to be me, to let go and suddenlt the world is a more inviting place.
i don't know that i am ready for the world yet, and i don't know that i want to be, but i know that with you there, i am more me, and i like who i am.
so thank you for making me ME. i am glad she has found her way out, and i look forward to having some fun with her.
love you always
but everytime i am with you, i feel a sense of calmness.
i don't feel the pressure to be anything i'm not, to put my guard up.
when i am with you, there is something about you that makes me ME again.
i no longer feel self concious, nervous or quiet and shy. with you i am more lively, confident and HAPPY. you make me YOU, and i think that is one of the best ways to be.
on saturday to begin with i was self concious about what i was wearing, how i was acting, but you just make me calm. i was making conversation and jokes with people i hardly knew. i was totally comfortable and not afraid to say or do anything, because i no longer cared what other people thought, i was happy. for the first time in a very long time, i let go.
i always thought that i would never get a guy to even look at me, yet when i let go, when i stopped caring, i found that maybe, just maybe someone might like what they see in me.
i know it was just a dance and guys dance with girls all over the place, but to have someone want to dance with me, particularly with you standing next to me, gave me the confidence and self esteem i need. i have developed the confidence, over the last couple of months to be me, to let go and suddenlt the world is a more inviting place.
i don't know that i am ready for the world yet, and i don't know that i want to be, but i know that with you there, i am more me, and i like who i am.
so thank you for making me ME. i am glad she has found her way out, and i look forward to having some fun with her.
love you always
oh sweetie...
i just read your blog.
it almost made me cry!
you are the most adorable, cutest, sweetest most sensitive person i know and i love you.
i won't leave you again, dearest wifey,
and you should know that even when i'm not there physically, i am always there in your heart.
love you more than i can say,
your hubby.
it almost made me cry!
you are the most adorable, cutest, sweetest most sensitive person i know and i love you.
i won't leave you again, dearest wifey,
and you should know that even when i'm not there physically, i am always there in your heart.
love you more than i can say,
your hubby.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
i never realised
have you ever thought about how much of your day you spend related to food?
how much of your week?
between cooking, shopping and eating, the average person would spend close to 19 hours a week doing something with food.
and that's just actualy doing something with it.
do you know how much time you spend THINKING about food?
i was doing the 40hr famine and i never realised how much i thought about food. i was doing homework and i wondered why i was getting restless and i realised that i normally have a break and go and eat something, but i was famining so i didn't stop!!!
i kept going to the cupboard when i got bored, then realising that i couldn't eat, then realising what a fattie i was, wanting to eat cuz i was bored!!!
twas an interesting and enlightening experience
how much of your week?
between cooking, shopping and eating, the average person would spend close to 19 hours a week doing something with food.
and that's just actualy doing something with it.
do you know how much time you spend THINKING about food?
i was doing the 40hr famine and i never realised how much i thought about food. i was doing homework and i wondered why i was getting restless and i realised that i normally have a break and go and eat something, but i was famining so i didn't stop!!!
i kept going to the cupboard when i got bored, then realising that i couldn't eat, then realising what a fattie i was, wanting to eat cuz i was bored!!!
twas an interesting and enlightening experience
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