Just putting it out there

Guess who has five from five?
That's right me! haha
And I can go to school on Monday and tell Wagner that I actually used my Maths abilities and skills somewhere other than Maths class for the first time ever; I calculated the probability of getting 8 from 8 in the footy tipping in one week.
Yes, I have a sad life
Yes, I know that
Yes, I am embracing it and announcing it on the internet anyway
I calculated that it is
1/256 Precisely! *pushes up glasses*
And so far, I have been one in 32! (there are 1/32 chances of getting 5 from 5)
But I cheated.
Mum and Simon are out watching the Cowboys vs Panthers game.
I have to do my physics, and don't have time to watch it, so I googled.
hehehehe *evil laugh like molly*

toodle-oodle-oo

Wish it would stop hurting, make it stop hurting

All I ever seem to do these days is cry.
Cry becasue of mum
Cry because of about 4 of my friends, each for different reasons
Cry becasue of my sister
Cry because of school
Cry becasue of me
All I do is cry.
And I wish I could stop it
I wish I could take the pain away
But I try my hardest to take away your pain
So it has to make its way out somehow
It has to cause pain somewhere
And it is coming out of me
It is coming out in tears.
But I am at least consoled by the fact that they aren't coming out of you.

Did you know that a good 20 minute cry can leave you dehydrated, with a headache and burning eyes for about 12 hours? and the exhaustion lasts for a good 24hrs or so too...

I lost it

I wrote a blog
On a scrap piece of paper
And I put it somewhere in my room
I can't remember where
And I went looking for it
But I couldn't find it
And that's ok
I'll find it sometime when I don't want to post it
But I found a letter you wrote me
And there are numerous, I seem to have a lot of letters from you
But this one was the most recent.
I'm sure you remember, you likened me to a pair of pants.
Anyway, the moral of the story is that I'm glad I found that letter.
Because it is directly proportional to the previous blog.
And I needed to read that.
So thank you again
For always saying the right things at the right time.

I wish

I wish we were twelve
I wish I was your mother
I wish we were at the age where everything was trivial, and everything could be fixed.
I thought we were going strong.
I thought we all got our happy endings, or were at least happy.
But we're not
And we never will be
It is not in human nature to be happy for long periods of time
If we didn't have self doubt, didn't have turmoil, we wouldn't be human.
But I'm damned sick of it.
I wish I was your mother
I wish I could hug you and take away your troubles
I wish it was as easy as scaring the boogie man out of the closet
But it's not
And I can't
But you don't deserve this
You have enough, and have had enough to deal with
You don't need this.
Someone mentioned that my face looked different
That I looked totally different
And I did
I was happy
For the first time in a long time,
in spite of everything else, in spite of all that is going on in our life
I was unnecessarily happy, for no reason in particular
and it felt good
But then I came back down to earth
I realised that I don't deserve to be happy,
not when you can't be
I don't deserve to have good feelings,
If you can't have them too
I don't want to be happy and have those feelings
If you can't have them along with me.

I just realised what I said up there
I put 'what is happening in our life'
our life - singular, and I did it accidently
But that is what it is
My life is your life
Our lives are all intricately connected in different ways
And we all share the one life
So if you're not happy
Then I can't be
If you're not ok
Then I can't be

I wish I could solve your problems
I wish I could put myself in your shoes and try to help you sort out your decagon
But I tried, and I'm not you
And I don't want to give you advice
Cuz what if it's the wrong advice?
What if, because of me, everything is ruined?
What would I do then if the reason you were hurting
was because of me?
What would I do then

I love to watch you

I just realised how stalkerish that sounded...not my intention
You are one of the cutest people I know.
You are not typically seen as the 'naw, how cute' type of person, but I see it.
Walking to class yesterday, I was slightly behind two people and you were somewhere behind me.
Then I see you skip past me and just randomly join yourself in their conversation, as if you had been there the whole time.
The way you did it was the cutest thing I'd seen all week.
And later just watching you with her, mothering her, diciplining her, but still letting her know you are her friend. Then hugging her and telling her to have a good weekend.
You have never been the mothering type; I think you make a point of being that way.
But you wouldn't believe how great you would be as a mother.
You really would.
In both instances yesterday, I couldn't help but smile;
you made your mother proud.

Surprise

You are more indepth than anyone gives you credit for

Even me.

You are an incredibly deep, and thoughtful person

I don't mean thoughtful as in kind - you are, but that's not what I mean

I mean you think about things

You ponder things.

Things that I've never pondered before

And I've never really realised it,

But you are an indepth person.

Book 21 - My Sister's Keeper

Book Title: My Sister's Keeper
Book Number: 21
Page Number: 423
Page SUb-total: 6825

I think you know the story line. We talk too much about it in SOR, don't need to talk more about it here!! XD