sometimes i think...

what's the point?
is there a reason we do this.
is there an absolute necesesity that we push ourselves like this.
is it absolutely vital that i put myself under this amount of pressure, seemingly for nothing?
no its not.
but i willingly do it anyway.
there are so many times where i am this close to giving up, but somehow, i don't.
i always seem to find a way through it a way to endure.
i find mostly, when i am close to giving up, when i can no longer sleep at night for worry, when i am wound so tight that i start snapping at people for no reason, when i seriously consider leaving school, just so it can all end; i see something that inspires me.
sometimes it is something that someone says to me, but rarely (soz but words don't do much for me when i want to give up). no, what gets me is seeing a baby. or watching some medical show and seeing the before an after, seeing the woman who was blind see again, see a man get a lung transplant and play with his kids again, see a child get the beads pulled out of their nose for god's sake! but what ever it is that i see, it inspires me. i am propelled to do more. i aspire to be more. because i know that someday, that will be me.
now im not saying that im going to be a transplant surgeon or whatever, but to know that i will be one of them, that all this work, pointless though it may seem, will actully go somewhere, and become something. i will be helping people.
and when you feel as if it is all too much, and feel like giving up, when you realise that maybe you can't change the world, find something to inspire you. find something that you look at or hear and think 'hey yeh. this is worth it. one day i will be something, be someone great.'

i don't expect to change the world, but i sure as hell expect to change many people's worlds.