And one day blends into the next

I close my eyes but do not sleep
I cannot cry, and yet I weep
I wake up with mascara streaks
from my eyes and down my cheeks

I have not slept properly in weeks
I wake up feeling like I just went to sleep
I toss and turn, wake up every few hours and try to go back to sleep
the only thing that helps me sleep is that song
but that song makes me cry.
It's the only thing that actually makes me cry
I cry on the inside,I feel the overwhelming despair, but not the tears unless it's that song
But it's the only thing that puts me to sleep
So I put it on, and cry myself to sleep.
When I wake up i have mascara smudges and streaks down my face
and i don't remember crying

I've become the person I never wanted to be.
I'm self-obsesed, selfish and ignorant of everything and everyone around me
I've stopped caring for others, and concentrate on myself all the time
How do I go back
How do I undo these feelings
How do I take it back, without taking it back
How do you take back what needs to stay
How do you undo the best time of your life
How do you forget the strongest memories you have
How do you hate the person you love
Solution?
You don't.