Childhood memories

i remember when the bathroom tiles were blue
i remember being petrified of the bathtub drain
i remember sitting on the kitchen floor mixing unpeeled, uncut onions but knowing that i was being a big help to nanna
i remember almost drowning in the pool
i remember when the stairs were carpet
i remember getting carpet burn on those stairs when teaching mikayla how to go down them
i remember getting prickles from the grass outside
i remember when i was scared to go downstairs at night because thats where the boogie man was
i remember when nunna died
i remember getting ready for carmen's wedding
i remember getting ready for annettes wedding
i remember when joe still lived there
i remember when joe threw my doll across the room
i remember how many times the whole in the kitchen cupboard has been fixed up
i remember falling down those stairs
i remember when i used to hide behind the wash basket in the bathroom while nanna pretended not to know i was there
i remember when i got too big to hide behind the wach basket
i remember when the organ was upstairs
i remember when the organ actually worked
i remember carmen giving a 5 year old me singing lessons downstairs, and telling me i had to make my eyebrows go really high
i remember the day before christmas packing up the cars and driving to haliday bay
i remember eating my first sand there
i remember nearly getting eaten by a snake there
i remember making bonfires on the beach
i remember the year all the toilets overflowed
i remember when, despite my age, i was allowed to 'hang with the big boys', most of which were 10 years my senior, but seemed so old then
i remember playing in the enclosure
i remember the year nunna came to the beach
i remember when nunna used to live with dotty
i remember when nunna lived in her own house
i remember how she used to give me milk arroots
i remember she always had a seat in front of the pantry
i remember learning to say 'kafinti' which is maltese for 'Hi, how are you' because nunna didn't speak english
i remember visiting nunna in the home
i remember mikayla running off, and us finding her an hour later in some old lady's room, just talking
i remember how the home used to smell like old people
i remember going to the hospital and seeing alyce
i remember promising nanna that one day i would fix her scars and make her better
i remember being 5 and not shying away from the sight of blood on the medical shows
i remember when i used to hide in the pantry
i remember when nanna had the cat called allie

i don't remember nunno ever having dark hair
i don't remember ever going to mackay and not baking
i don't remember nanna ever changing the curtains
i don't remember ever not feeling safe at nanna's house

no matter how old i get, or how many houses i live in, when we go to nanna's house for the holidays, we are going home for the holidays.